So, pegging, we’ve finally got there! If you’re not familiar with the term, it is where the male partner is penetrated by the female partner, with the aid of a strap on.
I was never really interested in this, and it was one of the few things we hadn’t tried until we got the strap on about a year ago as part of our developing chastity play.
On the whole, my advice is to think about this just like you do if he’s using a strap-on on you. It’s a toy! It’s held in place with the strap on harness so it leaves your hands free. But it’s just a different way of using a toy.
But, okay it IS more than that. And this is part of the excitement of it.
Clearly there is a big element of power exchange in this, but for us it’s actually been a remarkably sensual experience when we occasionally do it.
But as far as the power exchange thing goes, there are two fascinating things I’ve found as we’ve explored this over the last year. It is INCREDIBLY empowering to be the one doing the fucking. It’s hard to describe. It’s just switching everything around when you become the penetrator rather than the one on the receiving end.
It’s almost like those switch movies where the guy goes into a woman’s body and vice versa, it honestly gives me a greater empathy and insight into what sex is like for my husband!
And conversely the same is true for him. In part it’s a similar experience to anything anal that causes him to be aroused or hopefully cum without his cock involved. It totally widens his impressions of what sex is and can be, and I think that’s a very good thing.
A warning that I’ve never seen anyone mention, this will be painful, for YOU. Yep, you will use muscles doing this that just never usually get that movement, well this is my experience anyway. So the next day I was all achey. Which is fascinating because it’s so natural for a guy.
This means first time you may not actually be able to do it for very long. That’s okay! If you’re both really getting into it then you can lie on your back and he can, for the first time ever, try being the cow..boy? Anyway, cowgirl position with him sitting on the dildo. And yep, that’ll make HIS muscles ache! lol
That isn’t all that aches, of course. For those of you who like, or have at least tried being on the receiving end of anal sex, there is an achey throbbing feeling of being fucked there. He’ll have that too, that’s normal.
As for some of the practicalities, here are some of the headlines, but I’ve added some great articles from other sites with all kinds of tips too.
- Make it sensual, not dominating, at least at first. Treat this as kinky love making rather than some fantasy domination scene. His body is DESIGNED to be able to take pleasure and orgasm from stimulation of his prostate, so this can be an incredible experience.
- Get him to be nice and clean beforehand – a shower and bottom wash is great but an enema a few hours before will get him even cleaner.
- Use a condom on any toy that isn’t just for anal only (it’s SO weird putting a condom on yourself!!!)
- Use lube, lube and more lube, you can never have enough. Lube the toy yes but literally push it against his bottom and squirt it up! Or else lots of it just gets wiped off as it goes in.
- Foreplay to relax him is great. A lubed finger is perfect, or playing with butt plugs. Again use all of that as a chance to get lube in there.
- Take your time. He’ll need to relax, get used to it, and relax again so no hurry, talk, touch, tease, play with his cock too.
- Uncage his cock so you can wank him too. It’s so hot. One hand on his cock, one on a nipple and pegging his bottom, he’ll be in heaven.
Of course the big question is whether you can make him cum like this. It took us four or five different attempts before we got that right. Now we have it seems to be easier, and we’ll even do it with him caged so the stimulation is ALL from the peggng.
But cumming isn’t the entirety of this experience, simply doing it is the big thrill, and really worth trying.
Some other site for more advice:
And a great site ALL about it:
Some good Tumblr captions on it here: http://pegmecaptions.tumblr.com/
And also another with photos but non dommey stuff: http://sensualpegging.tumblr.com/
Despite nearly every picture on Tumblr being of pegging Doggy Style it’s one of the worst and least successful in my experience. Him lying down as in the picture further up this post is good for aiming and slowly working the tip in.
Spooning is my favourite as it’s all snuggly and I can whisper in his ear and play with his cock and nipples and the rest of his body as we do (reach your lower arm around under his neck).
We’ve tried him lying on top too, that kind of works but I think you need a longer toy for it to work well. But sitting up, cowboy style works well but wasn’t as sexy as me doing it to him.
But face to face is also a favourite. This was the position that first made him cum from it and OMG…looking into his eyes as I made HIM cum from fucking him – absolutely incredible.
You need a good quality strap on and a nice not too big dildo (most of the ones in the pictures are ridiculous…), plus some good lube
This is the one we use from Lovehoney, it’s wonderful, it works just as well on me as it does when he wears it. It has different fitting sizes so it can take the bigger dildo we love to use on me. But slim, curved, silicon one it comes with is PERFECT for pegging.
Find out more and read reviews on Lovehoney
And finally, this made me laugh…