I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want…
I hope all went well with Day 1. Feedback is incredibly welcome, either in notes or a message (please note I don’t have Personal Messaging turned on) such as this:
Thank you for your post. My BF has been doing this for a bit. We participate off and on since we made “us” official. You made it seem less scary, IMHO, and less BDSM. Again thank you for your post and insight.
and this from yesterday
Day 1 was amazing, we had the best play time ever
Good to know so many are doing a full month lock up too! I love the notes in reblogs so thank you!
Always happy to get questions too but please, remember the context. I’m a woman, my husband is the one caged up. If you ask me stuff like what underpants to wear, I really don’t care, and I don’t know very detailed stuff about cages etc, although sometimes I’ll ask him for what to say. I’m far more about the relationship and creative side of all this, which segues nicely to today’s topic…
A major challenge for most relationships is communication, so today we’re going to use the a delightful side effect of edging to help us with that. The side effect is that the hornier and closer you get your man to cumming, the easier it is for him to tell you stuff he normally wouldn’t.
Day 2 is going to follow in a similar pattern to yesterday. Get him to ‘warm you up’, then restrain him, remove the cage and edge him. If you don’t have restraints, or fancy a change, you can always just make him lie on his hands (and threaten to recage him if they come out at all).
Full Lockdown Version
For those of you keeping him caged all month then you’ve probably done an interrogation like below with him before. It might be you want to do it again, in which case just tease him with the cage on and try out the questions below (or any of your own of course).
Otherwise, a nice easy day, browse tumblr, while he licks you! Yep, he needs to build up some stamina in that tongue of his, so get him working on it today!
Now he’s hopefully a bit hornier we’re going to use that to have a fun little interrogation. However, I have to precede that with a warning, you HAVE TO BE COOL with the answers he gives. You are elicting them under a kind of pleasure torture – his defences are down. Even if he says something you don’t like or is a huge turn off, just LET IT GO. You are tapping into his fantasies, and a lot of them are just that, a fantasy, the whole point of which is it’s not something that can or should happen in real life.
If you react negatively to anything it can REALLY set you back. So instead, you can just be neutral, ‘that’s interesting’, ‘I see, I didn’t know that!’ kind of thing. And if he asks you what you think you can just say ‘that’s good to know’ or ‘I’ll keep that in mind’. Just, stay neutral, nothing negative, okay?
What’s been interesting for me in the past when I’ve done this with hubby is just giving him the chance to voice a few fantasies he’d never told me actually acted like taking the lid off a pressure cooker and stopped him thinking about them so much. So even in the telling there’s a lot of positives.
So my point is, you do not have to DO all the things that come up from questioning like this, you are in charge and it happens the way you want it to. But it’s very good to know where he’s coming from and maybe become more open to some of them. For example with me I had no desire to peg him at all (use a strap-on on him) but he’d told me he liked the idea, I knew he’d played there himself in the past, and then, when we did try it and I made him cum from it it was amazing. Suddenly I thought, ‘oh my god, I’ve found another way to give my hubby pleasure and to make him cum, that’s awesome!’
As I said, the key to this is the closer he is to the edge and the longer you’ve been doing it, the more honest he will be. Don’t tell him the plan is to question him until you’ve got him right on the edge, then say something like, ‘Right, now to find out what you really want and think!’.
Then you keep teasing and playing as you talk. Here are some suggested questions
- How is being caged making you feel about me?
- Are you more concerned I’ll be too mean, or not mean enough?
- If you had to choose, would you rather be caged for a week, or a month?
- How long do you imagine being kept in the cage without being allowed out at all?
- When we get to your ‘cum day’ does the thought of me changing my mind and keeping you locked longer excite you?
- What sexual things do you want to do to me, or have me do, that we don’t do now?
- What would you like us to do more of with you caged or teased?
- Is there anything I might do to you that excites, but also scares you?
And then to finish, this is quite fun. Say something like:
‘Well done answering everything so truthfully, what would you like as your reward, a ruined orgasm, a full orgasm, another edge or whatever I want?’
(If he says anything but the ‘anything you want’ you say , ‘Wrong answer darling, we’ll stop there, and get you back in your cage’. For the last answer, do what you want! Play more or stop, but no cumming of any kind.)
That’s it for today, well done!
Heads up for tomorrow, he’s staying caged and it’s all going to be focused on him pleasuring you. In fact, advance warning for early risers, demand an orgasm from him before you get up to start the day! You’ll be getting one later too
Did you get any surprise answers? What was the sexiest thing he said? How is his horniness already? I’d love to know! Reblog with a note or send me a message!