So, you should have read my long introduction already.
If you haven’t then check that out for an overview, some tips and the basic rules.
You should have talked those through with your partner, and agreed them and what take you want to try on the different levels of intensity. If you haven’t done that, then do it now!
If you’ve had any experience with chastity before then I recommend, however long you plan to keep him in it, keep it a bit of a mystery. it’s just fun him not being sure how long it’ll be (and it gives you some flexibility if you change your mind!).
Then, get the cock cage on if it isn’t already! For those of you new to this, just have some fun trying it on, maybe just before you do the rest of this. For the rest of you, get that cage on, now!
Tease and Denial
Tease and denial is at the heart of sexy male chastity play. For some caging is about long lock ups, and that’s fine if it rings your bell but for us as a couple the focus is about increased intimacy and having more fun sex, so letting his cock out of the cage and playing with it to get him even hornier is a big part of the process – most of the time…
For us as a couple we’re trying ‘The full lockdown’ and seeing how we expand edging and teasing to him being IN the cage. So that’ll add some more options than just taking him out and having a play.
A simple start today. Tonight is going to be a classic tease and denial session, the mainstay of caged fun – when he’s restrained and then let out for teasing and edging before being put back in his cage without release of any kind.
If you’re just starting then this is a great way to start things off, tie him up, tease him, and then when you’ve done it for long enough (I’d say 45mins or more to kick things off) just wait until he’s soft and cage him up again before you let him out.
Try wearing the key on a necklace while you play, and if you fancy it, have him warm you up before you tie him up, with his hands, and his mouth.
‘Warm me up’
As you’ll have seen, one of the rules of Locktober is the woman is to try and cum EVERY DAY. Of course you can cum more… The reason for this is it will help you enjoy it too, and make sure it is not all about him, which it can be if you’re not careful.
But across the board there seems to be a relationship between caging his cock and him WANTING to go down on you. MAKE THE MOST OF IT.
Now this can be awkward if it’s not something you’re used to so of course he can use his hands or a vibe too. But try to let him go down and kiss and lick you a little down there at least, it feels amazing (more tips in later posts).
Sometimes it’s hard to ask or tell him to do it (although it’s SUPER sexy for them if you can be direct and say ‘eat me out’ or ‘lick my clit’ or similar).
So, something I do is use code – I say to him ‘Warm me up’ and he knows that means kiss me, play with me and then go down on me.
What it does not mean is make you cum! Not yet! Because it’s best in my experience to be left horny then play and tease him THEN have him make you cum. It’ll make trying new things much easier and keep you much hornier.
So, explain or have him read this post, and then whisper in his ear, ‘warm me up’ and enjoy! Give him advice if you can, encourage him, tell him what feels good, but don’t worry, he’s going to get a LOT better at that!.
Once that’s done, and you have some way to do it, restrain him. Why? Because it’s fun! It’s giving you a little taste of power, him of helplessnes, and it’s just hot to try a bit of simple bondage. If you don’t have restraints, you can use silk scarves of stockings, or just make him sit on his hands. But if you can, do it properly, it’s hot!
Here’s the restraints we use under our bed – they tuck away subtly after use but are there when we need them.
Lovehoney Under the Bed Restraints
A word about, safewords
‘Safewords are for really kinky stuff, aren’t they?’ Well yes, they are, they are mostly for situations where you want to clearly and simply communicate you are struggling in an kink interaction. So why would we use them for this chastity play?
They are very liberating! Because they give implied consent once you’ve agreed to use them. What this means is if hubby’s really horny, and likes the idea of cumming, or he’s caged and wants to ask to cum out, he can say it ‘I need to get out’ but if he doesn’t use a safeword you know HE DOESN’T REALLY MEAN IT!
That’s right, he can beg, ‘please I’m so horny, let me cum, let me out of this cage’ etc but unless he uses a safeword he actually wants you to say ‘no’ because really he can handle more and what he really wants is you, saying ‘No!’
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to cum or be let out, it just means he ALSO is okay if you don’t. And that gives you a HUGE amount of confidence to say ‘No, I want to keep you horny’ or ‘It turns me on to keep you caged, so no’ etc etc.
So, to repeat, we use safewords so you can actually be sure he thinks it hot if you say no. It doesn’t mean you HAVE to say no, but it’s probably hottest if you do most of the time.
What to use? We just use ‘Yellow’ if he’s near what he can stand and you need to believe he means it, and ‘Red’ for okay, ‘STOP now, I’m in pain or this isn’t fun, let’s take a pause, fix that, and then talk about what to do next’. Again, neither are bad things, just they make sure you know he’s serious.
So, right now, talk about safewords together, agree what yours are for the WHOLE of the month, and then you can be really confident playing with lock up and chastity and denial.
So to summarise, agree safewords so you can be confident saying NO, because when he doesn’t use them, he doesn’t really want you to let him cum or free his cock. But when he does say them, always take them seriously!
The tease, and denial
So with him probably restrained you can now let him out of that cock cage, and play with his cock. Lubed hands, your mouth, your pussy. Whatever you fancy, take your time and talk about all you’re doing. We’ll have a proper ‘interrogation’ game tomorrow, but maybe ask him what he’s most excited about and you tell him what you think too.
Full Lockdown
For those of us not letting him out at all your job today is to make him aware how hard it’s going to be this month. Still restrain him but your job is to make him as hard as you can in that little cage. Play with his nipples, pull and tug and lick him through the cage, try a vibrator on it, see if you can get him close.
The swap the vibe to yourself as he lies there helpless, think about how hot it is to have him caged up like this, and then when you’re ready, untie him and tell him to go down on you and make you cum.
He does not cum today! For beginners you may not want to lock him up after, but either way, keep him horny, teased, denied. Maybe you’lll let him cum tomorrow…And for those who want to, you lock him up. Yes, this is really important, YOU put the cage on his cock and lock it BEFORE you untie him, they LOVE that.
Then you untie him, and tell him to make you cum, and lie back and wonder why you didn’t try this wonderful kink before as he licks and rubs you to as many orgasms as you fancy. Browse the rest of the blog if you fancy it too…
And that’s Day 1, nice and easy… it won’t stay that way for long!
As always, I’d love your feedback or messages, have fun, and remember, the hornier he is, the more he wants and loves you! 😉
Jane xxx