So Locktober is here! I really can’t believe it’s been over a year since we started this blog, and Locktober last year was the thing that really seemed to get it to take off. So, welcome back if you were with us then, and hello if this is all new.
Firstly a message to all of you for whom this is new – and well, probably a bit weird, hopefully a bit exciting too!
Let me from the bottom of my heart encourage you to give this whole tease and denial, and male chastity thing a go. I’m writing this blog because when we tried it for ourselves about 18months ago I would not have BELIEVED how good it would have been for our relationship.
A little about us
We’re a married couple in our 30’s, we have two kids under ten, and like most couples I think, especially after having kids, found our sex life had lost a lot of it’s ‘umpfh!’ and hubby particularly was frustrated with how it was. Me, I was mostly just tired! But we got to the stage where the kids were a little less work, and we were getting things going again when as part of some sex toy shopping hubby pointed out a cock cage and said ‘that might be interesting!’
Now, and this is important, this was a bit of a change on how things were for us. I’m pretty submissive and he’s mostly dominant – although, well we run a blog about cock cages, obviously ‘switchy’ is a definition that works for us too!
But I say that because a big part of this blog is the fact we’re focused on the benefits and fun you can have with cock caging and denial and teasing, but it’s never really about him being hugely submissive. We use the cage and tying up to explore some of those things but this is all quite based on reality, of how putting your loved one’s cock in a cage can bring out the most amazing intimacy and boost your sex life in ways I didn’t think possible.
There’s more about us in the blog and I’m sure you’ll read more throughout the month too but I hope that gives you an idea of where we’re starting from
So – Why Cock Caging?
When we got that first cage, I thought it would just be a like a toy we tried a few times and then got stuck in the drawer for occasional use, if ever.
Boy was I wrong.
Pretty much from the start we both realised that the tease and denial play, plus the caging, was having a MUCH hotter effect on our relationship than we expected. Now we’re not new to orgasm denial. We’ve always been somewhat kinky and enjoyed exploring things, although I came to the relationship a naive virgin, so hubby taught me basically everything I know. One of the ways he did that was tease and orgasm denial, on ME! Yep, I was the one not allowed to cum, kept horny and eager, and damn I loved it, and still do! And I guess it gives me a good insight into why he might like it. And sure we did teasing and a little denial on him over the years too, but somehow, the cock cage takes it all to a completely different level.
That’s part of why I’m excited about Locktober, as it’s really quite hard to describe just what an impact this can have on you. You just have to try it for yourself. And you know what, it may not work for you, and that’s okay. Come to it with an attitude of fun and being prepared to try anything a few times and you won’t go far wrong.
I thought I’d break this down into advantages for the different people involved, obviously I write as a married woman and use the terminology to match but I’m sure this would work well in other types of relationship, just figure out where you are in the mix and apply!
Let me quickly say what this isn’t – Locktober and this blog are not about creating what is called a ‘Female Led Relationship’ – sure, male chastity and cock caging can be part of that, but it’s just not what we’re interested in. Neither are we looking to make hubby submissive or humiliate him (although there is some hot teasing about some things that works for us). What this is about is exploring how the super hot experience of male orgasm denial, male chastity and keeping his cock in a cage can be a LOT of sexy fun and give you an even better relationship.
For the women
So, maybe you’re really into this already, and if so that’s great! But that’s definitely the minority of us! For most women it’s a mixture of curiosity and quite possibly some serious doubts as to whether you want to try this at all.
Let me just underline the biggest benefit we’ve seen from exploring male chastity and cock caging – it’s greater INTIMACY. Massively increased intimacy between us. To talk about sex, to be open about what we want, to spend a greatly increased time actually having sex (of sorts!), but more than that, the other stuff we love, kissing, cuddling, him touching us, being romantic, attentive, helpful.
I wrote a post sometime that if you could get this effect in a pill it’d sell in the millions!
We’ll go into what I think is behind all that further in the month but for now just try to trust me, that’s the biggest overall impact, we are much closer in so many great ways through this.
Second on the benefits, orgasms, lots of them, for us. And not just okay orgasms, I’m talking about mind blowing oral sex on a scale I didn’t think possible. And he WANTS to do this, like, asking me,desperate to go down on me at times. It’s awesome! Hubby was always okay at it, but this is in another league, and what’s even better, is it’s orgasms without guilt, without any sense of having to reciprocate because it’s often hotter if I don’t!!!
A shared secret – this is part of the intimacy but I wanted to list it separately as it’s such fun knowing he’s locked up. It makes me think about sex lots more which is great and we supplement that by having a shared private tumblr that we both post things too that is just for us. I’ll talk more about that soon.
A sex life that’ll be the envy of all your friends – if you choose to share of course, and no, my friends don’t know the cause (although my best friend knows something’s up…) but we have sex, of some kind, five or six times in a normal week. Hubby is in bed, excited to be there, most nights! And if I’m not in the mood… his cock is literally unable to do anything about it! In fact, it’s turned NOT having sex into something sexy, how great is that!
So most of you guys will have been the instigators of this, it may be you’re just curious about male chastity or you are crazy into it, either way, Locktober is a great opportunity to actually initiate or takes things further with your partner.
An invigorated sex life – okay so I ended with this for the women, I’m starting with it for you lot (see how that works!). While it seems counter intuitive that locking up your cock would lead to more sex, I’m talking about more than just fucking. It’s going to force you to be more creative and look to giving her pleasure in new ways, and she will LOVE that. She’ll likely be hornier and more up for things than you’ve ever known her – once she gets used to the idea at least. And it’s also very empowering for us women to know we can say no to sex and that’s actually part of the game.
Exploring a changed dynamic – so as I said, we predominantly fit into him being the dominant sexual partner and me being the submissive one, and I still love that. But obviously caging his cock changes that to a degree. Not hugely though, for us, and this is not how everyone would do it, he still has the ultimate say in what’s happening, if he asked to be let out of the cage I probably would (although, not so definitely as a year ago). But he doesn’t ask because we both love it! And that’s why you should be doing this, because it’s working for both of you.
Now a lot of guys into this are obviously more on the submissive side, and that’s probably even easier as having your cock locked up and being made to focus on your partner’s needs will come naturally to you. Just be aware that if you are submissive it’s very easy to get carried away and want to go futher, faster, than your partner is comfortable with. So try to just encourage all she does, and look to pleasing her as your focus and you’ll find with the increased intimacy and communication you should naturally find a level of denial and chastity that works for you both. This is NOT the green flag for every one of your fantasies to immediately come true, sorry! Focus on the stuff that brings you closer – which all the Locktober tasks should, and help your partner see how great it can be for them to indulge this side of you.
Obviously this blog and Locktober are going to be written from a couple perspective, but I know we have lots of single followers too so I will try to make things accessible and useful for you guys too. Some things will work, some won’t, but that’s just the nature of this blog.
About Locktober 2016
Advice for beginners to male chastity and cock cages
So if you are using this Locktober series to start your exploration then firstly, well done for trying something new, that’s brilliant. Please don’t feel any pressure to follow what I suggest to the letter, just use it to inspire ideas and dip into things as you feel comfortable.
If you’re completely new to wearing a cage then I suggest the following sequence for using it:
- Just try it on, outside of sex, just to see how it feels and wear it for a bit to figure out how you like it
- Try it next with your partner during some teasing – tip you won’t get it on once you start playing so put it on FIRST and then play around and then take it off towards the end or if you’re struggling and get your reward!
- Next try it for a day, during the day. On in the morning, teased during the day and then a session at night before it comes off.
- Then try it for a day and a night – the nights are often the hardest, your cock will wake you up trying to get hard. Keep the ring of the cage lubed to minimise the discomfort and be prepared to take it off it if gets too bad. But you will adjust to wearing it and that will get easier.
- And once you’ve managed a day and a night… see what works for you both. Feel free to have times with it off, maybe you only want to try it a few times a week and you can work through the locktober ideas over a longer period of time.
Then again, you may find you love it, we did! And want to escalate, and try it over Locktober as a real full on exploration. Talk to each other, figure out what works for you!
For those with some experience
So if you’re used to wearing a cage hopefully Locktober will give you some new ideas and a structure to work with to enjoy male chastity even more with your partner, and add some freshness to the whole experience. We’ll be reusing some of the ideas from last year,
The objective of Locktober is NOT necessarily complete orgasm denial. The focus as the name suggests is keeping you locked up for most of it. If you follow the ideas it will involve frequent release for tease and denial, and some of those will include ruined or full orgasm.
However if the two of you want to make it so you don’t cum at all for the whole month, agree that now and just adapt my ideas to work for you!
Note however, if you agree now that’s what you want, ONLY the woman is allowed to reverse that, and it should be with the guys agreement too (we get weak sometimes). You opt out of cumming this month and you don’t get to ask to change it 😛
Okay, given all that, here are the rules for Keephimcaged’s Locktober 2016
- This is about having fun – if you’re not enjoying it, talk about it and fix it so you are!
- If in doubt, lock it up – if the choice comes for you to let him stay out or to lock him up, by default you are to cage his cock unless you have a good reason not to
- Be flexible – my ideas are just suggestions, feel free to adapt to what works for you and maybe to reschedule if the timing just isn’t working out
- She cums, every day – that’s the objective, while he is caged and denied, the other side of the coin is the woman is to cum or be made to cum every day – we want to build that as a good habit!
- No masturbating without permission – the man is not allowed to masturbate himself in or out of the cage
- No cumming unless you say so – unless you say he can cum he is not allowed, even if you are the cause of it! It’s HIS fault (lol).
All unauthorised orgasms must be ruined (be strict on this!) and if you want even stricter you can agree in advance he has to eat it too. (Yep, kinda gross but the concept turns a lot of guys on – before they actually cum, and it’s a genuine disincentive for them to go over – but if you agree it you have to make them do it or it’s pointless).
You will need a cock cage! You can read our recommendations here
A good lube for wanking him with
Some kind of restraints to use in bed (you can just try it with silk scarves but the velcro strap ones are great and so easy to use.
A strap on if you want to explore having sex with him still caged
Butt plugs can be fun too, but very optional
Cock rings are very useful for keeping him hard and sensitive
As you can see we recommend toys from our own favourite online toy store, Lovehoney. We do get a small commission from them, if you object to that, please feel free to not use our links – we’d recommend them anyway. The big factor is they offer 365 day free returns so you’re trying all this stuff risk free. Don’t like it, or discover this isn’t for you? Send it back, used, yes used! for a full refund. So cool!
Health and safety
The ideas here are things that work for us but please be sensible and adapt to your situation and medical requirements. Especially if you’re new to caging just take a cautious approach and don’t overdo it. If you’re feeling any pain or discomfort that isn’t from the obvious cause of trying to get hard in a cage or achey balls from not cumming then do something about it. This is meant to be fun, not cause problems.
Besides that, I recommend you both go for a serious pubic haircut. If you want the best from his oral skills then you should get rid of most hair around your pussy (you can leave your normal pubes, they don’t get in the way). His should be cut very short, especialy with a plastic cage to avoid trapped hairs causing pain. You can try getting him to shave too if you fancy it. Shaved balls are much more fun to play with in my opinion.
Plastic cages need removal and cleaning pretty much every day to stay fresh in our experience. Metal cages just need a shower and hose down, with maybe a weekly removal and spray and scrub with a sex toy cleaner for any nooks and crannies.
So, that’s about it now, I shall post the first Locktober task in a bit, a simple tease and denial as it was last year, to get things going.
I’d love any feedback, including hearing how things are going or questions, and I’ll do my best to get back to them as fast as possible.
If you are a woman denying her partner and you want some help then please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re struggling or just need some encouragement. There’s a group of us now who I chat with and it’s just nice to have some others to do that with. Guys, please don’t use that email, it’s not for you,and yes if you pretend to be a woman I can tell, it’s very obvious.
Enjoy Locktober and of course, and keep him caged!