Oh you absolutely can. I think that’s all just horny guys getting stupidly carried away as they do when they think with their dinkies 😛 For me it’s just a shame that’s all that cross over with just messing around and having fun with chastity and caging, as I had exactly the same reaction when I first checked it all out and it very nearly put me off trying it at all. It doesn’t even need the whole female led relationship stuff which is fine if you’re into that but honestly a big turn off personally. I want my guy strong, a leader, and dominant to a degree, that’s PART OF THE FUN of why locking his cock up is so sexy!
I think the things that HAVE surprised me that I’ve got into, are pegging, cock size teasing, and strap on sex. I’d have laughed at you if you’d told me how much I love them this time last year. But they are very optional parts of it all (even if making him cum from fucking his bum is possibly the hottest new discovery in our sex life).
Let me just reiterate how great a private shared blog on tumblr for the two of you is. Use it to create a space that completely non-judgementally you can post things that you think are hot. It’s so helpful.
Feel free to ask me anything else I might help with!