Hi. Love the blog and the “real” information! I have approached my wife a few times about my chastity desires and she’s really not into it. She says she just doesn’t understand. I’ve tried making it all about her pleasure as well. Still no luck. Ugh. I self lock when I feel the urge and she’s ok with it but isn’t willing play along. Any ideas to get her involved? Thanks

Hi there, thanks for the lovely feedback. I’m sorry to hear the idea’s been rejected so far. Don’t give up hope though!

I can understand how frustrating that must be. It’s really tricky because it is one of those things that sounds crazy at first, but the benefits to us in the things that matter are incredible! For most of us it’s NOT about the pleasure first and foremost, it’s the intimacy it produces.

Also it’s usually the case you’ve been obsessing about it for a long time, and she’s just on square one,so you’re expectations are massively different and just set up to be disappointed. Also as men you tend to get too focused on the ‘gadgets’ of the cock cage when it really doesn’t need that in the first instance. 

I’ve been helping a few guys who wrote to me with how to introduce the idea successfully to their wives, and it’s really good so far. Some of the keys are getting the focus off the device initially, exploring mutual tease and denial (something I’ve got LOTS of experience with) so she appreciates that it can be sexy, and then moving the focus to denying him more, and THEN introducing a simple device ‘just for fun’.

And alongside that some of the wives get up the courage to send me questions, which can be a lot of fun if they get into it! The fact it can all be so anonymous really helps them open up.

Maybe it can turn into some kind of step by step plan to help the man get in the right headspace to ask, and then advice on how to gently introduce it to your partner. And then going deeper. I don’t know. The trouble is having the time to put that together and provide support! This was supposed to be a little fun blog but it keeps on growing…

Ideas on any of that very welcome!

Leave a Reply