Caging and denial definitely sit at the kinkier end of the sex spectrum, but one of the reasons I love it is because I use it to actually recentre the balance in our sex life!
So the reality is that he probably got the idea of being caged from a website like this where there are all kinds of kinky stuff and it may be that your sex life feels like it’s all got a bit too focused on weird things.
This is where caging is brilliant.
You can use it to get him focused back on the kind of sex you enjoy most.
Guys tend to have higher sex drives than us, that’s certainly true in my marriage. Your partner is probably masturbating looking at some of that stuff and that leads to a negative cycle of NOT focusing on you as their main fantasy and sexual outlet.
So firstly caging is ingenious because it’s turning what might be negative frustration at not having enough sex, into POSITIVE frustration that you’ve put his cock in a cage!
Then when we come to actual sex, while kinky stuff is fun, I really like just good old plain, love making, as the majority of what we do. I’ve used the cage that HE wanted to make him focus back on what I enjoy most.
Does it feel a bit forced at first to use it this way, of course it does! But does it work to get him back into good habits of wooing you and taking his time giving you pleasure, YES! And he’s so horny by the time I let him out that the love making ends up REALLY passionate. It’s also upped the oral sex I get quite a lot and I love that!
So there’s two parts to this, firstly making sure that when he’s caged I tease him and keep him horny. A mixture of just reminding him that i like him locked up and also regularly playing with either his nipples or unlocking and edging him. This keeps his imagination focused on ME! If you just cage him and ignore it then the frustration can be negative again.
Then secondly making the unlocking a fun part of just normal sex where I get it off him pretty early and then we just enjoy straight sex and he takes on his normal role of taking the lead.
So yes, you don’t want this to be the only way you ever get him to be romantic, but if you need to get him back into better habits with romance and love making, use it! It really restarted our love life as it got him back into good habits. It would be great if he just did it by himself but using a cage that he gets off wearing, to encourage him to be the way I like, is a good solution.
A few other tips:
- Make sure at least you lock the cage, or ideally put it on him. It’s really sexy for him. Don’t make him do it all.
- Also make sure you unlock it, and remove the cage, it’s actually really hot as hubby gets hard so fast. I wipe his cock with a wetwipe and then lube him and play with it for a bit as he’s usually extra sensitive
- If he’s struggling to last because he’s so horny, put condoms or a penis sleeve on him
- Any gentleman knows ladies come first…
- Texts are the low maintenance way to keep him horny.
- ‘I love thinking about your cock in that cage
- I’m thinking about you inside me right now, maybe I’ll let you tonight
- Fancy a blow job? He replies yes. Shame you’ve got that cage on.
- How are you going to convince me to unlock you tonight honey?
- I’m really horny. Come and give me an orgasm, at least one of us might as well
- a list of tasks with ‘unlock cock’ as the final one lol
- Try letting him tease and deny you too so you’re both desperate by the time the cage comes off
One of my favourite blogs just reblogged this key post that I wrote really early on, so I thought I’d use that as an excuse to post it again!