Something hubby introduced that I hadn’t really thought about was the use of safewords into our denial play. I knew what they were but as it didn’t involve any kind of risky stuff some people try I hadn’t considered they’d be of any use to use. But he brought it up when he begged me not to do something (ruin his orgasm as it happens) and I said, ‘okay’. What he really wanted to do, he told me, was enjoy watching me be mean and do it anyway.
So he suggested we use safewords, not to stop us if anything was hurting too much, well I guess we would use it for that, but mainly for him to use if he really meant that he wasn’t sure about something I was going to do.
So simply, YELLOW means, ‘hold on, I’m serious about not being sure about this, let’s just be careful and see how it goes’ and RED means ‘Stop now, and let’s talk this through properly’.
He’s actually never used them, but that’s not the point really, the difference it’s made is that I am free to have much more fun teasing him knowing that any complaints he makes are just part of the game. It’s been pretty liberating actually, instead of worrying when he complained about things now I know he’s just teasing too and it actually spurs me on!