Hi, I have been married many years but no longer have sex. I have seen your website and wonder if this would be a way of getting things going again. I don’t think my wife would be into this or understand it. But, strangely, I think I would be into her being in control of me with a chastity. What is the best way to approach my wife about this without her being shocked or even laughing?

Oh gosh, I’m sorry to hear that. I certainly can imagine when we’ve been married a long time that chastity play will be a mainstay in us keeping our sex life fresh and exciting – even more than now. 

But if your wife isn’t into sex at all I’m not sure what to advise. You being into the idea of this doesn’t seem to hold much sway in what she’s interested in.

All I can say is that the renewed intimacy side of this is going to be appealing to almost everyone – it’s much more than sexual. I’m writing a book about it with hubby at the moment so maybe that might be a helpful resource once it’s done? It’s going to be super accessible, really emphasising the benefits to every woman prepared to try it. None of the heavy domme stuff you see in most of the books.

For those with some kind of sex life the easy way to bring this up is what we happened to do, which is ‘accidentally’ find cock cages while browsing sex toys together. But that needs some level of sexual activity to justify.

If that’s not even happening, well I think sitting her down and being straight about it is the only way. Starting with the fact you want to reignite the intimacy in the marriage and that you’ve found something that you’d like to try. Warn her it’s going to sound crazy but you’d really appreciate it if she would just be prepared to try it. Maybe find a few articles here and elsewhere to print out to give her to read?

From what I read on the forums like Chastity Mansion it’s a difficult path but absolutely possible. There will probably be more useful advice somewhere like that (but they are NOT woman friendly sites at the moment, although that one is trying hard to change).

I hope that helps!

Jane xxx

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