Hello! Really love your blog. My boyfriend suggested this to me a month ago, and after I got over my surprise and tried it, my sex life (and orgasms!) has improved tenfold. I love how he desires me more and more, but I control how the sex goes! That said, he’s gotten way better with his mouth than he ever was with his cock, and my dildo is honestly better anyway, so I have no desire to unlock him. How often does he *need* to cum, and can I train him to need it less and less? Thanks!

Well firstly congrats, so great to see someone else enjoying all the benefits!!!

So, guys don’t NEED to ever cum as far as I’m aware. Old sperm gets peed out as new stuff is made. There’s some evidence that never cumming might affect the prostate, so a monthly emptying of the balls is recommended but I think for me it’s more about what’s most exciting. 

I’m moving to an informal plan to let him cum once or twice every two weeks. That seems to be the sweet spot where he’s horny and desiring me most of the time but it doesn’t get boring (I do love to make him cum after all).

It honestly depends on how he’s reacting to it. Weirdly I’m more likely to make him cum if he’s LESS frustrated and turned on as it doesn’t seem like a waste. If he’s on a real ‘high’ from the denial, I want to keep him there!

Other times I’ll just decide to make him cum lots, because it’s hot and surprises him! But the whole message of, ‘cumming if fun but not cumming is even better’ really is part of our way of operating at the moment. He LOVES me being mean, and i know that now. So we’ve moved from my default being he’d cum, to the default being he won’t unless there’s a really good reason, and we’re both very happy with that atm.

But I also like to surprise him, so yeah, keeping it varied is the key for us, but once every two weeks is a good starting point, remembering you also have ruined orgasm you can drop in sometimes.

Hope that’s useful!

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