Thank you for a lovely question, and very pertinent at the moment.
We’ve been following the Locktober programme pretty closely, I’m am writing it after all, I’m obliged! And as you’ll probably know we’re relatively new to the whole caging thing, just starting this year, and this is by far the most intense experience with it so far – and yes, ‘mind altering’ is a good way of describing it.
I think the factor to take into consideration for us is despite all the caging and me taking such a lead we are NOT into a so-called ‘Female Led Relationship’ and apart from general switchiness, I’m not that much into domming him. But despite all that, I’m loving a lot of the effects I’m seeing, and I hope it’s okay to share, that the other wives I’m chatting to are generally having a similar experience.
So, let’s list the effects, psychological and more on him and me:
- at first of course there’s a sense of kinkiness to it, and me encouraging that has led him to be much more open telling me about other things he enjoys and somehow having him caged has made it easier to talk about. The shared tumblr blog is a brilliant way to keep this going
- unsurprisingly having his cock locked in a cage acts both as a physical and mental stimulant to make him more horny. After about a week he described it less as something that comes and goes, and some days as more of a constant elevated level of arousal. Physically when I let him out of the cage he’s hard very quickly and I can get him to the edge within a couple of minutes, which is handy!
- he tells me this horniness translates emotionally into feeling much more connected with me, that his thoughts are directed towards me, and that absolutely shows in things like little cute and/or sexy texts during the day, cuddles, buying unexpected gifts and flowers, and lots of little jobs done around the house without asking – trust me, this is remarkable!
- sexually it’s been amazing, my friends wouldn’t believe me if I told them, but we are averaging sex twice a day. Obviously it helps we’ve got the Locktober tasks to follow but beyond that I am being woken by him pleasuring me or when he works from home I’ll often get some ‘afternoon delight’. So when I say sex of course it means without him cumming, but otherwise it can be a mix of me playing with him as well as me being pleasured. It’s perhaps 40% focus on me, 10% on him and the other half a shared time of lovemaking.
- Let me say it again, I’m getting on average a couple of sessions of pleasure from him a day, much of that him licking me to orgasm. And he gets better at it every day. This is from a baseline last year of perhaps having that once a month! What’s more is he WANTS it, he is massively enjoying giving me all that pleasure even when he gets no stimulation in return! I can see that, and I love it! I’m finally allowing myself to believe that I can actually just tell him to go down on me and lie back and enjoy it and not feel selfish.
- The impact on his dominance is interesting – it definitely makes him more switchy, and he encourages me to take the lead and also to ‘be mean’ in the choices I make, but those are very much in sessions when we’re playing, and sometimes he’ll break out of that and continues to deny me sometimes or pin me down and fuck me, but he holds off cumming. I’m getting to the point where I’m struggling to not just let him take the lead, which is our default dynamic…
- I’d say increased intimacy is the biggest effect. In the bedroom and outside. We are both loving that, and need to find ways to make it continue after this month (and yes, that may well involve keeping him caged – currently in discussion!). I THINK it’s more about him not cumming than the cage though. That feels more and more like an optional accessory that we’ll use at times to intensify that effect.
- No impact on work, and with others I do keep getting asked why i’m smiling so much by my friends! lol Another possible impact is on our kids, the good being they are seeing him and I being more caring and positive with each other, the only negative being they risk being ignored a bit more than usual as he and i make more time for each other, but I figure if we’re in a good place it filters down to them.
So I think the big question for us gong forwards is can we maintain this intimacy when the cage comes off next month? Watch this space for answers!