Tag: ideas

healthysexymarriage:

Break Him Carefully

Halfway there!  A month and a half ago, my amazing, sexy husband agreed to three months of constant tease and denial, without release.  Since then, almost every night, 7 nights a week (and sometimes in the morning, too!), we work together to make me cum as much as I want, then I edge him intensely, over and over again, to my heart’s content.  Sometimes we’re quick – half an hour and off to sleep.  Sometimes we linger – time flies when you’re having fun.  But the key is that we make time to do it every night, with only a few (very few!) missed nights.  I’ve never slept better in my life…

I adore this man.  He trusted his most intimate, primal, involuntary reflex to my care – knowing, full well, that I intended to break him.  I promised to reduce him to a sweaty, leaky, quivering, begging mess of a man.  I warned him that I planned to make it difficult – that I was going to truly challenge him, just to see how much he could handle – to prove, once and for all, that his body could physically endure so much more than his mind ever imagined.

When we started six weeks ago, we had an honest, open conversation about what was about to happen – what we were about to do.  We discussed our limits and set a safe word.  We agreed that if it ever stopped being fun, for either of us, we would stop.  During that conversation, he honestly admitted his doubt about two things:

First, he doubted we would make it this far.  He doubted my commitment to denying him.  His exact words, “There will be a night when things get so hot, you won’t be able to resist making me cum.  I know you.  You won’t make it three months, but it’s fun to try.”  My reply, “Challenge accepted!”  And so far, so good.  Sooo fucking good!  To my husband’s total amazement and slight alarm, I haven’t even ruined him.  Yet…

Second, he doubted I could truly break him.  Break his mind, that is (not his body!  I need that!).  When I promised to send him into the deepest, darkest, most desperate, mind-scrambling frenzy of lust he’s ever experienced, he honestly doubted that such a mindspace existed.  He knows how it feels to be relentlessly edged, teased and denied for days at a time.  He knows the beautiful frustration of being milked and ruined, over and over again.  He’s begged – literally begged – for orgasm before, and heard me say “No.”  He’s been there.  He survived those things without ever truly losing his mind, and he figured this would “just” be more of the same.  Three months of intense fun, but nothing truly new.

And… to be honest… I wondered if he might be right.  His doubt motivated me to find out.  It made me edge him harder.  It made me stop and let go, every time my instinct screamed at me “He’s a man!!  Make him cum!!”  It’s why I insist on playtime every night, no matter what’s happening in our daily lives or how tired I feel.  I wanted to know… to genuinely know… could I break him?  Is it even possible?

Well…

Last night, I’m proud to say, I finally… carefully… definitely broke him!

After six weeks of daily edging, teasing, and denial, we started off “routinely” enough.  We played and cuddled to warm up, then I tied his wrists to the headboard of our bed.  He is hypersensitive and leaking almost constantly now, so I mounted him very slowly and carefully, avoiding any motion that might resemble a thrust.  We kissed, and I took my time, just enjoying the sensation of him throbbing inside me.  Eventually I got my favorite toy and vibed myself to glorious climax on his denied cock.  A perfect start.

I retired to languish at his side in a blissfully relaxed haze, alternately vibing, tickling, and stroking his cock through a string of easy edges.  Easy for me, that is… My head resting on his chest, my hair spilling over his body, my leg hooked with his… It was so serene, I almost fell asleep.

I didn’t even notice the time.  I didn’t even notice when an hour slipped by.  And then two hours.  I was in a warm, post-orgasmic trance… perfectly comfortable… watching his beautiful, raging cock strain so sweetly in my hands… lost in my own little world of loving him… It was just so easy.  And, as nonsensical and silly as it sounds, I loved him for it.  I loved that he found me so beautiful, so irresistible, that he couldn’t stop himself from edging for me.  It made me feel like the most amazing woman in the world.

So I almost didn’t notice when his grunts faded, and the quivers started.  He startled me with a raspy, crackling whisper, “Baby, please… Pleeease!…”

It was the most earnest plea I’d ever heard in my life.  Something in his tone, beyond the words alone… a moment purely between us, when all facades crumble.  He was breaking.  Finally breaking.  This is how it starts…

I immediately perked up.  I needed to see his face, to confirm it for myself.  Yup… he was gone.  His eyes were open, but there was no mind behind them.  His lips were moving, but only a few airy words slipped out.  A lot of “please” and “fuck” and sometimes my name, over and over again.  My heart swelled with happiness for him.  I didn’t say a word – I didn’t want to interrupt his journey.  I just kept lightly gliding my fingers along his cock… carefully, invisibly guiding him through space… knowing that he needed me… that he could never do this to himself.  Weeks of hard work (for both of us!) was finally paying off…

No way I was going to let this moment end any time soon.  I completely forgot how tired I was, or how late it was.  I kept going… carefully… lightly… soft touches ONLY – because just one firm, hard stroke probably would have ended it.  At one point, when he was sweating, quivering, and babbling, I offered him a chance.  I whispered, “Remember, we have a safe word.”  That’s the only time I “broke character.”  I’m sure he heard me; I’m sure he understood.  He didn’t say anything, though.  He just kept begging, “Please… please…

He wanted to stay.  So I made him stay.

He wanted to be broken.  So I broke him.

He said it was the best night of his life.  I believe it.  And we have another six weeks to go…

I was just wondering how these guys were getting along with their 3 month challenge. This is incredible, thank you so much for sharing, sounds fabulous!!! I hope we can experience that too!

I guess my only hesitation is it doesn’t sound like anything’s ‘breaking’. Traditionally breaking is a pretty aggressive BDSM term for taking away a sub’s will through various means.
What you describe is much more like what we’d call ‘subspace’ which is a semi-euphoric state of bliss brought about by an intense experience and connection with someone.
I’m going to go even further and coin a term of ‘edgespace’. Much nicer than ‘breaking’ don’t you think? 🙂
Apart from that though, amazing, love you guys!!! I want to give this experience to hubby now! lol

healthysexymarriage:

Why It’s Important For Her To Cum First:

(It makes her happy and relaxed.  It makes him horny and excited.  Let the games begin!)

I like to start our nightly play sessions with at least one good orgasm for me. His hands (my favorite), or his lips, or grinding against his stiff cock, or my vibrator – whatever I’m in the mood for. It doesn’t matter how I do it, my orgasm always hypes him up better than anything else I’ve tried. Seriously… if you want to whip your man into a happy, horny frenzy, just do whatever works for you – whatever brings you to climax in his arms.

Then it’s his turn. While I’m still basking in my afterglow, he usually wants to climb on top and start fucking right away. Slow at first, but he’s so hyped up, the slow stuff doesn’t last long. I’m totally okay with this! Go ahead! I’m still high from my first climax. His raw power and burning need only takes me higher. Knock yourself out!

I would be perfectly happy if he came, right then and there. But, being the thoughtful, giving husband that he is, he usually gets close and backs out. He wants me to cum again, so he’s holding back. Silly, lovely men. Now this is the fun part…

At this point, I have all the power. If I want another orgasm, I can climb on top and grind one out against his dick; or I can slip him inside me, sit/lay still, and vibe my clit; or just order him to get me off with his hands or mouth again.

But, honestly, I get more enjoyment taking full advantage of the fact that he’s trying to hold back. I can turn aggressive and start fucking him really hard – watch him squirm, sweat, and panic. Total honesty here: if I do that, I usually get so excited that I can’t stop myself, and I fuck him till he cums. As much as I love teasing and dragging things out, good sex is just too hot to stop sometimes. #SorryNotSorry

But if I’m feeling a giving mood, I give him what he wants: I help him hold back. We have sweet, slow sex, whatever way I want, for as long as I want. I take his cock in my hands, stroke him to the edge of orgasm, and hold him there… five minutes… ten minutes… If I’m in a loving mood: twenty minutes. It’s easy once he’s close. That’s why this is the fun part – he thinks it’s his husbandly duty to hold back his orgasm until I am completely satisfied. He will try SO HARD not to cum without my permission, and it’s one of the sexiest struggles I’ve ever seen. He does this to himself! Silly, lovely men.

If I tease him enough, he goes into a compliant, pseudo-orgasmic trance. I actually envy him, it looks really nice. At that point, it’s better if I don’t let him cum. For tonight, he’s basically as good as satisfied, and I either let him pleasure me again, or we curl up and go to sleep. For tomorrow, his sexual energy has been amplified, multiplied, and stored for an even better orgasm, when (if!) I decide to give it to him.

When I stop and tell him to put his dick away, he usually acts frustrated and might even beg me to finish him. It can be flattering but is mostly just annoying. It’s important that I give him hope – I say things like, “Tomorrow will be even better, baby.” Or, “It’s for your own good. You’ll thank me later.” Stay positive, compliment him on his performance, and don’t let him feel rejected. He remembers these words and stays horny for me all day, till we play again. I get the sweetest texts from him, during the next day, every time I edge and deny him! I know he’s thinking of me, and, I admit, it feels really good.

The next night, he’s eager to do it all again! Exactly the same deal, starting with a nice orgasm for me. And, depending on my mood, ending with some nice long edges for him – building him up for the next day (and the next, and the next…) till I feel like seeing him pop. He loves it.

A wonderful post from one of my favourite blogs! The idea that I cum first is a big part of lots of our playtime. We’re still flexible with it though, sometimes if he wants me more aggressive he’ll just edge me at first, that’ll leave me horny but not satisfied which puts me in a meaner mindset quite effectively. But almost always now (it was so different in the past when he used to deny me all the time…) I’ll end up cumming, and… he won’t! Yay!

Okay so, caution before you hit play on this, it’s a long video of a woman performing analingus on a guy but.. OMG SHE MAKES HIM CUM JUST FROM THAT!!!

How… what… that’s crazy! Obviously the first question is, can hubby make ME cum from this?!! lol But now damn, I’ve never been a big one for licking his bum (one of the few things he does more to me than I return) but, this is a serious challenge! I need to try this now! lol I imagine the trick is get him very close first but who knows…

I’ve actually really loved discovering new ways to make him cum, it’s been one of the big surprises of caging. When I was more sub it was pretty standard hand job or blow job or he fucks me for his orgasms but… the first time I used a dildo on him last year and made him cum IN HIS CAGE was so exciting, and we’ve managed it a few times pegging too.

We had an incredible time recently where I was behind him, my favourite pegging position is very intimately spooning him, where I can stroke his cock (if it isn’t caged) and play with his nipples and he just can’t do anything but moan and writhe. I just wrap my arms around him and feel all his strength at my control. So hot. And got him to the point where just the tiniest movements of the strap on kept him on edge. I was so torn between just keeping him there, and pushing him down and just fucking him hard which I’m sure would have made him explode. But I’m clearly getting more disciplined, as I just left him like that, right on the edge, holding him tight. He honestly couldn’t speak it was so intense. Amazing stuff!

More to explore though, I really want to master the whole milking thing where his cum just flows out, for some reason that’s so hot. Exciting!

It’s so hot to have hubby’s denied cock in my hand, having edged him, and just lose myself in my own orgasms as I squeeze him so tightly but don’t let him cum. If he moves, or asks to cum, then I just let go of him. It seems to make my orgasms even better…