To be fair, Tumblr and porn in general is very visual. A giant strapon, a chastity cage with a timer set for weeks, cum and fluids flying everywhere – these all are visceral images, easy to portray with a picture or a few words. Content is catered to the audience. If the paying audience is mostly male, things will be exaggerated and portrayed from the man’s point of view. Even our understanding of what women want sexually comes from a male bias. Guys like getting their junk squeezed and tugged fast till they blow their load all over the place. Why should girls be any different?
As far as porn lets on, women enjoy only two things: either hard, fast penetration or a tongue rapidly flicking at them, most likely with one or two fingers shoved deep inside their holes. Femdom porn only makes matter worse by reducing the list even further. All women, without a doubt, are completely satisfied by oral sex once they lock up their husband/boyfriend/male pet into chastity. Massages are turned into punishment, kissing is off-limits and even orgasms themselves are set strict rules, “Make me cum seven times in one hour or it gets the hose again!” For all the talk of femdom being for the sake of the women, there’s barely any hint of them ever being actually satisfied.
Now I don’t claim to be anywhere near an expert in pleasuring a woman. After all, I’ve had my own equipment my entire life – I’m much more qualified on how to pleasure myself. However, I believe that a couple exploring chastity, tease, denial or femdom needs to take a step back. We can all agree that being teased and denied feels good. Whether it’s with or without a cage, prolonging that final release of dopamine seems to instead turn you into a horny mess. It works the same with women! There’s many blogs out there already about female orgasm denial because there’s one universal truth. The journey is often better than the destination itself. Even if your partner doesn’t necessarily want to be denied, everyone loves a good rub-down or prolonged foreplay session.
Lara doesn’t prefer oral sex. Not for a lack of me trying, mind you, but it’s just not her jam. Several times we’ve tried to play out the fantasy of me being left locked in chastity, only allowed to use my tongue to pleasure her. Try as I might, however, no tongue or toy can satisfy the need she has for a proper, real cock. Instead of trying to force our sex life to fit what most femdom porn shows, we’ve instead found a happy middle ground. For times when we do have me locked in chastity, she will unlock me, use my cock, then lock me back up without release. By that point, I am more than ready to explode with sexual desire, which again we tailor to her needs-
She loves a rough fucking. Recently, she’s upped the ante even further. Since I enjoy being denied so much, there’s no more need for us to use condoms. We use pills for further birth control, but having to worry about cleaning up afterwards was always an issue. With a condom, she was much more willing to allow me to cum at the end, but now we’ve removed that option. For me to be allowed release, she now has to make the conscious choice to have me put on a condom once she’s done. After I’ve already fucked her properly and she’s had her fun, it’s very easy for her to give me a smile and say, “not today.”
