Ms. Rika’s Tips for Tease and Denial:
Quoted from Ms. Rika, accomplished author:
T&D is one of my favorite playtime activities 🙂 Here are a few tips:
- I don’t tell him I’m going to tease him…I just do it.
- I don’t say, “I’m not going to let you come”. Rather I say, “Maybe this time…” Keep him hoping. The more he thinks that THIS TIME he gets to come the better – the spin off is all about making him think he’s going to get off and then suddenly, stimulation stops and he’s left hanging on
- If I want him to do something humiliating, I tell him to do it early – before I tease him in earnest. Hopefully, he’ll refuse. Then it becomes a challenge to get him to change his mind – which he will.
- When I do get that challenge, then I can take it to the next level. Using your example: If I want him to lick my ass, and he refuses at first – then after an hour of repeated denials, he says he’ll do it – I’ll tease him a few more times until he’s literally begging me to let him do it. I might tell him that his begging isn’t sincere enough and tease him again. Then I might let him do it – then tell him he did a good job so he can come…and STILL not let him come.
- Which brings up the next point, as a rule, you don’t need to be fair. The situation is not fair. You are totally in control and being “not fair” is one way to demonstrate it. You can lie. You can tell him that he’s going to get to come and then not let him. You can deliberately confuse him. You can do whatever you want to him and he will let you…because ultimately, you and only you will decide if and when that orgasm comes. Pushy victims might just suffer longer! He might suffer longer just because you feel like it. Tough!
- I never feel like a T&D session has to end – I can PAUSE a session – untie him, go about my day and then pick up later in the evening and start all over again – or even the next day. The impact of a good T&D session lasts…it’s a cumulative thing. If you tease and deny him over several days, the tension will continue to build up and the ultimate release will be that much sweeter.
- I personally don’t like the number system. I feel it gives him in too much control. I use a “beg me not to let you come” system with a failsafe. Rather than him begging to come, I tell him I want him to beg me to stop – when he’s getting close. Personally, I love the irony of him screaming, “Please stop, I’m going to come” and me saying, “OK…” 🙂 But here’s the trick – if I choose to NOT stop, he has to come within 5 seconds – or he will not get to come at all. This way, he will not be able to cheat. He has to be REALLY close before he asks me to stop – Realize though, that this means, sometimes, you have to not stop when he begs you to stop. Sometimes you need to let him come. You have to keep him honest – which means that some sessions will be quick, because you let him get off earlier than he may have expected. It’s a payment up front for more fun later.
- Lube is your friend. A lot of lube will make him so slippery that your motions won’t create as much stimulation. As the lube wears down, you’ll see him start to feel it more and you know you’re creating that build up.
- Read up on “polishing the apple” aka “palming the knob” – a great technique for prolonging his orgasm while keeping him stimulated. A word of advice, I have found that lube is NOT your friend for this technique – the drier your palm, with just a little moisture, the more intense the stimulation seems to be. The more intense the stimulation, the “worse” his experience will be! 🙂
- I make a point to stop every once in a while. I’ll let him recover a little before stimulating him again. I blow on his penis, I’ll let him eat me for a while. I take my time.
- I am aware of the “power of three”. I mention this in my first book – we are accustomed in our lifestyle to things in threes: 1-2-3, a-b-c, red-yellow-green, ready-set-go, win-place-show, etc. The natural tendency is to deny twice and allow to come on the third try. I’m aware of these tendencies and try to avoid them. Or, I use them to my advantage by playing on his natural feeling that the “third time’s a charm”…but it isn’t.
- Last thought: I’ll create a fun situation where he’s begging me to stop, so he’s really close – and I’ll say, “Go ahead…Come”, but I’ll remove all stimulation. If I time it right, he won’t have reached the point of no return – and without stimulation, he won’t be able to get off. Then, I can either say, “Maybe you don’t want to come? I told you to come!” and decide to put it off to another day – or just let him beg some more to get me to start again 🙂
T&D is SO much fun…I hope this list gives you some good ideas!
Ms. Rika’s books are for sale here:
These are really good ideas!
I love the idea of picking something he won’t do on purpose so you make it your goal. As she says, this could be licking your bum (although hubby loves that), or for some it could be he agrees to eat his cum. Hmm, I’m not sure what else would work, I’ll have to think some more. But the idea of turning something from refusal to acceptance to begging is super hot just as a mental game between the two of us.
Ideas on a postcard to…