I can’t believe how hard I am inside this tiny cage. I can’t believe I’m ten days from smashing through last year’s record.
I can’t believe she’s talking about moving the goalposts or expectation. That tease and denial is to be my pleasure. That the intense edges are what I should expect as gifts. Orgasms aren’t being discussed except as a mental break from this daily insanity.
I’ve checked my journal entries. I have had a journal entry for nearly each day over the last two months. She’s been keeping me completely enthralled.
I’ve gotten lots of ruined orgasms. Now she’s counting the drops. “Just one drop.” “But you came. You spilled four or five drops”
She calls any spurt an orgasm. Even if I’m completely untouched during them.
I’m going insane in this Contender cage. I feel no pain but it is gripping me fiercely.
I’m a mess of precum.
I love her. I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to crash.
I should be glad to be locked most of the time and edged nearly every day. And I am. But
Damn. This is difficult.
The wife held a quick size contest this morning. She told me the biggest dick gets to do the fucking tonight and the loser has to be locked in chastity all day to be reminded of the winners huge dick. I guess I’m screwed!
It’s always so much fun to make up reasons to keep him caged… even when it’s totally unfair 😛
I have been scrolling through my chastity themed Tumblr feed getting increasingly annoyed by the fantasy fueled hysterical posts. Two more weeks, loser. Don’t ever ask to be unlocked. Chastity by numbers. Chastity for the ridiculous.
Chastity in a loving relationship can of course use humiliation, but it doesn’t have to. Is someone really a loser if they let you lock up their penis and control their orgasms? I think my Wife might have a few words to say to you about that. And only for two weeks. Oh, I see, that is why you are a loser, is it? Because that is all you can take?
This picture shows the holistic approach to a relationship that can, if you want, accompany chastity. The approach that means you spend more time together being intimate without any expectation of sex, that magically brings your partner closer to you in a way that really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.
Maybe it is a paradox, that giving up your own orgasms helps your wife or girlfriend feel more loved, more damn sexy than ever before. But it does, and that is all that matters to me.
This is so true. Once you get beyond wanking to chastity porn (840 days and counting) and you have a partner that accepts control over your orgasms, I think a lot of those fantasies don’t ring true.
We don’t play with humiliation. Maybe I’m made to blush, but I’m not degraded. My wife teases me for being so decadent and easily indulged. That how she treats denial – as a treat. She makes me quiver and swoon easily.
I’m doing this for her. Because I adore her and am devoted to her. I’m not doing this because I think poorly of myself.
The enjoyment of intimacy without my orgasm is a daily connection that never seems to fade for us.
Two lovely commentaries from two of my favourite blogs.
I guess I don’t get annoyed by most of the silly captions, I just ignore them. Anything that uses ‘slave’ for instance is just an instant turn off for me (but it’s SO annoying when I read a hot caption I want to send to hubby and then it finishes with something like ‘isn’t that right, slave?’ argggghhh!
But of course I very much support what these guys are saying, it’s so much about the intimacy! What’s key for us is we’re not interested in a female led relationship, so the chastity play is really focused on the joys of keeping him horny and me feeling sexually empowered.
Likewise we never do degradation or humiliation, but we do some pretty strong teasing. For whatever reason the whole penis size teasing thing, especially with comparisons to the big dildo we have (I christened it Adonis, lol) is really hot for us both – you’ll have probably picked that up from the blog 😛
Thank you for a lovely question, and very pertinent at the moment.
We’ve been following the Locktober programme pretty closely, I’m am writing it after all, I’m obliged! And as you’ll probably know we’re relatively new to the whole caging thing, just starting this year, and this is by far the most intense experience with it so far – and yes, ‘mind altering’ is a good way of describing it.
I think the factor to take into consideration for us is despite all the caging and me taking such a lead we are NOT into a so-called ‘Female Led Relationship’ and apart from general switchiness, I’m not that much into domming him. But despite all that, I’m loving a lot of the effects I’m seeing, and I hope it’s okay to share, that the other wives I’m chatting to are generally having a similar experience.
So, let’s list the effects, psychological and more on him and me:
- at first of course there’s a sense of kinkiness to it, and me encouraging that has led him to be much more open telling me about other things he enjoys and somehow having him caged has made it easier to talk about. The shared tumblr blog is a brilliant way to keep this going
- unsurprisingly having his cock locked in a cage acts both as a physical and mental stimulant to make him more horny. After about a week he described it less as something that comes and goes, and some days as more of a constant elevated level of arousal. Physically when I let him out of the cage he’s hard very quickly and I can get him to the edge within a couple of minutes, which is handy!
- he tells me this horniness translates emotionally into feeling much more connected with me, that his thoughts are directed towards me, and that absolutely shows in things like little cute and/or sexy texts during the day, cuddles, buying unexpected gifts and flowers, and lots of little jobs done around the house without asking – trust me, this is remarkable!
- sexually it’s been amazing, my friends wouldn’t believe me if I told them, but we are averaging sex twice a day. Obviously it helps we’ve got the Locktober tasks to follow but beyond that I am being woken by him pleasuring me or when he works from home I’ll often get some ‘afternoon delight’. So when I say sex of course it means without him cumming, but otherwise it can be a mix of me playing with him as well as me being pleasured. It’s perhaps 40% focus on me, 10% on him and the other half a shared time of lovemaking.
- Let me say it again, I’m getting on average a couple of sessions of pleasure from him a day, much of that him licking me to orgasm. And he gets better at it every day. This is from a baseline last year of perhaps having that once a month! What’s more is he WANTS it, he is massively enjoying giving me all that pleasure even when he gets no stimulation in return! I can see that, and I love it! I’m finally allowing myself to believe that I can actually just tell him to go down on me and lie back and enjoy it and not feel selfish.
- The impact on his dominance is interesting – it definitely makes him more switchy, and he encourages me to take the lead and also to ‘be mean’ in the choices I make, but those are very much in sessions when we’re playing, and sometimes he’ll break out of that and continues to deny me sometimes or pin me down and fuck me, but he holds off cumming. I’m getting to the point where I’m struggling to not just let him take the lead, which is our default dynamic…
- I’d say increased intimacy is the biggest effect. In the bedroom and outside. We are both loving that, and need to find ways to make it continue after this month (and yes, that may well involve keeping him caged – currently in discussion!). I THINK it’s more about him not cumming than the cage though. That feels more and more like an optional accessory that we’ll use at times to intensify that effect.
- No impact on work, and with others I do keep getting asked why i’m smiling so much by my friends! lol Another possible impact is on our kids, the good being they are seeing him and I being more caring and positive with each other, the only negative being they risk being ignored a bit more than usual as he and i make more time for each other, but I figure if we’re in a good place it filters down to them.
So I think the big question for us gong forwards is can we maintain this intimacy when the cage comes off next month? Watch this space for answers!