Hi Jane, love the blog, thanx so much! We got into chastity play a couple of yers ago and it’s mostly been great but things haven’t happened the last couple of months and I wondered what you’d advise? I’ve suggested caging him back up but he’s not seemed too botthered? Thanks in advance, Sam.

Hi Sam – you’re very welcome and don’t worry we all go through ups and downs. It was a few years ‘down’ after we had kids that led us to even exploring stuff like this.

So chastity is a bit like magic, even if they aren’t feeling in the mood, just doing it makes them start to feel horny and of course being caged makes it just increase and increase.

We’ve had the same thing a few times and even though I forget my own advice the answer is simple. Just do it. Cage him up. Don’t ask. Watch how hard and excited they get when you just pull it out and tell them it’s happening. Their cocks betray them and that’s so hot and you absolutely have to make fun of it!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. So first, just get them to bed on time, ‘come to bed I have plans’ will usually do. if you’re anything like us he’ll have been staying up late and just got into a bad habit, so it just needs a little intervention.

Ideally you want to tie him up, makes it all so much hotter and easier. But ‘just sit on your hands and if they come out I’m stopping’ will do at a pinch. Get him hard, lubed up, lots of stroking, get him close, warm him if he cums it’ll be ruined, try hard not to let him go over.

Then a bit of an interrogation. It’s always so hot. Ask him things like why you haven’t done this more, how good it feels, what it makes him want to do to you.

Then, well the reality is that if you haven’t been having sex or edging, he’s been wanking himself. That’s just how it is. It’s not anything to get upset about, however it is something to have fun with… Get him to tell you how many times, where, and how if you’re interested. 

Then announce the punishment… ‘Well I was going to let you cum but obviously I’m not now’.

Depending how you’re feeling, you can offer him a choice or just do what you want. ‘So, do you want to just be locked up for X days (one for each orgasm he stole could be good) or you can halve your sentence if I ruin you and post orgasm torture you first?’

It’s hot to ask, and then do what you want anyway… in fact that’s probably the most fun.

When ruining them etc make sure you say stuff like ‘This cock belongs to me, is that clear? You do not get to cum without permission, or you’ll just have to be caged up all the time’

If you possibly can, do the locking up yourself before they are untied, it’s just much sexier and more dominant.

Use their cum to lube the cage back on, that’s hot too, and leaves them messy and sticky caged up, while you get eaten out and start realising how silly you were not to keep him locked up in the first place 😛 Make sure you get them to go down on you. I find as SOON as they go down I realise how silly I’ve been not getting them locked up again sooner, and it makes me feel so much more excited about it all.

If you’re also not feeling that sexy, maybe get him to just edge you too, but of course you can save that and just cum lots!

I hope that works for you, let us know how you get on!

Jane xxx

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