Locktober Day 16

To ruin, or not…

I hope they all enjoyed the surprise ruined orgasm yesterday and have shown their appreciation suitably!

Ruined orgasms can have very different effects, both with the same man and it seems, between them. The idea is, of course, that he stays horny while you get to enjoy him cumming – a pure win-win. However perhaps you’ve seen less of the benefits of keeping him caged today after his release, and if that’s the case then do feel completely free to NOT allow him to cum at all today – something I’d suggest you only inform him of right at the last minute when he expects to cum – it’ll have the most impact at that point.

Tonight you’re to edge him first, not restrained, just playing, and once he’s pretty excited, direct him down between your legs as you read one of my earlier posts – The Ruined Orgasm Challenge. I suggest you read them all through, perhaps aloud as he licks you to orgasm, and then decide which you’d like to inflict on him, if any… tonight.

Avoid the last one, we’ll save that for another day… but personally I’ll be going for #2 or #7 – using my mouth and hands to tease him but making him ruin it as he climaxes by removing al stimulation. 

To add to the fun, and the difference between them is that for number 7 I then keep the cum in my mouth and empty it into his and make him swallow it. The best way to do this is tell him your plans while he’s on the edge, and make him agree to it – ‘if not, you don’t get to cum at all – so, will you swallow your cum tonight or not cum – tell me’ kind of thing – super hot!

Locktober Day 15

So, bit of a trick today… he expects to be denied and caged until tomorrow, but we are going to surprise him!

So this evening, spend some time teasing and denying him, make sure he’s going down on you of course. But then restrain and blindfold him (it’ll make the sensations more intense – but make sure he’s washed it well first).

Then surprise him by taking off the cage and spending a long time playing with his poor denied cock. I’m sure he’ll be much more appreciative of it now!

Play with him as long as you want, and then you have a decision to make. You can leave him like that, or if you want to, surprise him even more with his first ruined orgasm! Of course, you don’t tell him you’re going to ruin it. Play act that you’ve had enough of this denial and that he’s done so well being locked up that you think he should cum.

Get him right to the edge, enjoying asking for permission, and then, take him over, and either let go or slide your hand right to the base of his cock and hold it there ) so you can direct it) and watch him empty two weeks worth of cum all over wherever you point it! Absolutely no stimulation allowed once he begins the orgasm – and as simple as that, he has his first ruined one of Locktober. It’ll leave him desperate, frustrated and within about 30 mins to an hour, just as horny as he was before – awesome!

He’ll be ruined every evening until the end of the month now, so he better get used to it!

What are the psychological effects of a man being caged? I mean, I’ve read it makes a man more considerate and obedient. But what about outside the bedroom? It seems like it’d be a generally mind-altering experience. Could it improve other areas? Has he had changes at work? Interacting with others?

Thank you for a lovely question, and very pertinent at the moment.

We’ve been following the Locktober programme pretty closely, I’m am writing it after all, I’m obliged! And as you’ll probably know we’re relatively new to the whole caging thing, just starting this year, and this is by far the most intense experience with it so far – and yes, ‘mind altering’ is a good way of describing it. 

I think the factor to take into consideration for us is despite all the caging and me taking such a lead we are NOT into a so-called ‘Female Led Relationship’ and apart from general switchiness, I’m not that much into domming him. But despite all that, I’m loving a lot of the effects I’m seeing, and I hope it’s okay to share, that the other wives I’m chatting to are generally having a similar experience.

So, let’s list the effects, psychological and more on him and me:

  • at first of course there’s a sense of kinkiness to it, and me encouraging that has led him to be much more open telling me about other things he enjoys and somehow having him caged has made it easier to talk about. The shared tumblr blog is a brilliant way to keep this going
  • unsurprisingly having his cock locked in a cage acts both as a physical and mental stimulant to make him more horny. After about a week he described it less as something that comes and goes, and some days as more of a constant elevated level of arousal. Physically when I let him out of the cage he’s hard very quickly and I can get him to the edge within a couple of minutes, which is handy!
  • he tells me this horniness translates emotionally into feeling much more connected with me, that his thoughts are directed towards me, and that absolutely shows in things like little cute and/or sexy texts during the day, cuddles, buying unexpected gifts and flowers, and lots of little jobs done around the house without asking – trust me, this is remarkable!
  • sexually it’s been amazing, my friends wouldn’t believe me if I told them, but we are averaging sex twice a day. Obviously it helps we’ve got the Locktober tasks to follow but beyond that I am being woken by him pleasuring me or when he works from home I’ll often get some ‘afternoon delight’. So when I say sex of course it means without him cumming, but otherwise it can be a mix of me playing with him as well as me being pleasured. It’s perhaps 40% focus on me, 10% on him and the other half a shared time of lovemaking.
  • Let me say it again, I’m getting on average a couple of sessions of pleasure from him a day, much of that him licking me to orgasm. And he gets better at it every day. This is from a baseline last year of perhaps having that once a month! What’s more is he WANTS it, he is massively enjoying giving me all that pleasure even when he gets no stimulation in return! I can see that, and I love it! I’m finally allowing myself to believe that I can actually just tell him to go down on me and lie back and enjoy it and not feel selfish.
  • The impact on his dominance is interesting – it definitely makes him more switchy, and he encourages me to take the lead and also to ‘be mean’ in the choices I make, but those are very much in sessions when we’re playing, and sometimes he’ll break out of that and continues to deny me sometimes or pin me down and fuck me, but he holds off cumming. I’m getting to the point where I’m struggling to not just let him take the lead, which is our default dynamic… 
  • I’d say increased intimacy is the biggest effect. In the bedroom and outside. We are both loving that, and need to find ways to make it continue after this month (and yes, that may well involve keeping him caged – currently in discussion!). I THINK it’s more about him not cumming than the cage though. That feels more and more like an optional accessory that we’ll use at times to intensify that effect.
  • No impact on work, and with others I do keep getting asked why i’m smiling so much by my friends! lol Another possible impact is on our kids, the good being they are seeing him and I being more caring and positive with each other, the only negative being they risk being ignored a bit more than usual as he and i make more time for each other, but I figure if we’re in a good place it filters down to them.

So I think the big question for us gong forwards is can we maintain this intimacy when the cage comes off next month? Watch this space for answers!

Locktober Day 12

Daringly romantic

So, weekend again on my schedule and that means tonight a bit of date night feel to it.

A bit of prep required for this one, try to either agree to go out for a meal or get a takeaway delivered that you can eat together – I suggest something a bit more romantic than a pizza though! Chinese or whatever you like, but eat it at a table, some wine, try some music, some nice lighting, and just enjoy each other’s company.

That’s not all the prep. I want you to wear a dress or skirt, and no panties! You’re to try and keep this secret until a fun moment if it’s not something you usually do. I like doing it most when he’s drinking something… lol ‘I’m not wearing any panties’ often makes him pour it down his chin he he

The other option is save that information for later… Also, you can try spicing it up, if you have stockings, try those instead of tights, that is always hot. If you used to shave your mound but haven’t done that for a long time, then maybe tonight’s the night!

Because yes, the plan your caged hubby is going to spend a good part of the evening down there!

Move from the table to the sofa, put on a movie, and within the first few minutes, put a cushion on the floor between your legs and tell him you want him down there. Then spread your legs and enjoy the movie as your lucky man kneels between your legs and shows you how much he loves you.

Let him up every so often, you can undo his pants and play with his cage and balls, or just kiss, but I encourage you to try the line, ‘Honey I’d like another orgasm at least twice more during the film. If his tongue is worn out or he can’t kneel that long, let him use his hand, or lie in your lap or use a vibe or whatever. But slow, intimate masturbation of you as you  watch the movie is tonight’s task.

Then, take it to bed and ideally cum again at his hands or mouth. Do whatever you fancy, but try and enjoy his caged cock by playing with it or grinding on it. Can I just add, if you’ve been following this and really enjoying trying new things, then maybe tonight, if you have never let him try licking your asshole, you get brave and let him, or at least ask, ‘So honey, what do you think of the idea of licking my ass?’. What he probably wants to hear is, ‘Go and lick my asshole’ just FYI, it’s way hotter I’m told lol. I was never attracted by the idea until I let him do it and OMG it’s the sexiest, most intimate, and definitely kinky thing. So dare yourself to tell him you want to try it, and endure it for at least 20 seconds,and I’ll bet you’ll find you love it – he will!

Locktober Day 11

Spin the wheel, let fate decide

My lovely hubby has designed a ‘Caged teasing Wheel of Fortune’ for today’s task.

Simple one this, keep spinning the wheel by clicking on it (you can click it a few times to make it spin faster) and then let fate choose what happens. The easier things are bigger, so more likely. 

You can see further down the page you can actually customise the options pretty easily, so feel free to add your own or change them.

However, you’re not allowed to orgasm unless you get that result, and obviously, he isn’t allowed to orgasm at all 😀

Keep playing until you are satisfied!

You can add the option that he gets one chance to skip his result, but only if you’re feeling generous! 

Locktober Day 10

So today the task is pretty simple, turn him on as much as possible and reinforce he has six days left in that cage before he gets any release.

I’ll leave it to you to pick which combination of these, plus any you think of, will work best:

  • plug his butt- not just at bed time, but when he gets home, or even earlier in the day if he’s used to it! Make him wear it and whisper to him, ‘I love your arse being stuffed for me, I bet it makes your balls even fuller!
  • send him texts to turn him on, tell him how horny him being caged makes you, let him know you’re masturbating thinking about it (do it or just pretend, either is hot), say that him being caged so long really makes you want to tell your friends because you’re so proud, send him sexy pictures of yourself if you like doing that.
  • use your blog, tell him to find you pictures on a certain theme that you know will turn him on, or just ‘post pictures that make your cock ache in your cage’
  • set him a task of ‘finding some porn that we can enjoy together later’

When you get to bed you then follow up with the ideas from earlier, review the blog posts, watch the porn together and any mix of him being teased or pleasuring you, just remember, the cage stays on!

One fun twist on the porn idea is go to http://www.youporn.com/categories/ and get the other person to pick categories they are most interested in and then choose a video to watch, or laugh at in some cases 😛 It can be quite interesting to find out what type turns him on most, if you want to know…

Locktober Day 9

Lock-up begins!

So, here we are, the first day of a week long lock up. Certainly this is the longest my hubby will ever have been like this – the most we’ve ever done is two nights so this is new ground for me too.

The challenge is going to be keeping him, and making him even more, horny despite being unable to get his cock out or edge him. The fun twist, that he shouldn’t know, is that we aren’t going to bother with that at all until tomorrow, after all he’s been edged most days for the last week!

So today’s pretty simple, have some fun teasing him through the day, dress up cute, play with his nipples, send sexy messages to him and post really kinky things to your shared tumblr. (Some hot ones about realising the benefits of keeping him in chastity would go down well I’m sure 😀  )

You can even make hints about how wonderful tonight is going to be and how excited you are about it. What he doesn’t know is you mean how wonderful for you!

So here’s the suggested routine, ask him to run you a bath, enjoy that, when you’re both in bed, get him to strip down to his cage, ask him how he’s doing with the idea he won’t be out for a whole week as he rubs your feet or your back.

Then tell him you want to cum three times before you sleep, be more directive if you want, hand, then mouth then strap on for example if you fancied a fucking, or just leave him to improvise.

If you want to grab his caged cock, go for it, if you want to tease or touch or kiss, great, but he does NOT come out of his cage and the emphasis should be entirely on your pleasure. If you just want to lie back and read a book as he kneels between your legs, just tell him. Oh and if you enjoyed putting a plug in him yesterday then feel free!

And that’s it, snuggle up with his frustrated, locked up cock pressed into you and fall asleep smiling at what a wonderful thing you’ve discovered in caging up hubby! Oh and feel free to mention you’d like a morning licking too.


Lie beside each other in bed and masturbate yourself while he strokes his cock with a well lubed fleshlight. As you both get close to cumming he must slow down, but you can bring yourself to as many orgasms as you want. He can only admire your pleasure and wish it was his own. When you are done he must stop stroking, without cumming of course.

I thought this was sexy although that fleshlight is really freaky looking. There are much nice male toys than that!

So I just got this message:

I really love reading your locktober-post! This is one of the first ‘stories’ that is written from a women-perspective and is realistic. I hope to see more posts about it. I want to try out this with my wife

Thanks for this, but the reason they’re realistic is we are really doing this! These aren’t ‘stories’ but something we thought we’d try out ourselves, and share with others because we like doing that. And I know for sure that other couples are doing it to, so yes, do try it out!

Locktober Day 8

Plugged and pleasured…

So, as warned, this is your man’s last day of ‘freedom’ from the cage. Hopefully a week in he’s really starting to feel the burn, getting that blue ball ache and is horny for you all the time. Perfect.

After he gets locked up tonight he won’t be coming out for seven days!

Of course being in the cage for the week doesn’t mean no stimulation, no no that would be boring! So tonight we are exploring one of the main pleasure areas besides the cock, so he’s more ready for it once locked up. His bottom!

If you’ve got some experience in anal play and he’s home during the day or when he gets home you might want to get him to wear the plug (or for real pros, even wear it to work!). Let him prepare himself and put it in that first time, and then I suggest you make your freshly plugged man eat your pussy!

However most of the fun is going to happen in the evening. After a thorough shower and butt wash, snuggle up with a couple of drinks (booze is lube for the mind!), and unlock and begin to play with him, and then talk through what anal means for him. You may discover he’s experimented quite a lot, alternatively you may find he is very worried about it ‘being gay’. Take the chance to talk anything through and emphasise that it’s just another way to give him pleasure and turn him on, and he’s very lucky to have the prostate gland up there that can actually feel amazing (something we don’t).

Start to play with his cock harder and add the fact that you like the idea of him being plugged for you as he’s got used to the cage now and this is another reminder that he’s your denied slut now lol 

Now, keep stimulating him and begin to reach down and rub his perineum (the gap between his balls and arse) and then the entrance to his bum. Lots of lube, lots of rubbing, and then begin to push a finger in as you play. If you want to you can slip a condom over your finger, some might even like the rubber glove medical look! Get him to describe how it feels all the time. He needs to be relaxed and enjoying himself for it to feel good.

Now, if’ you’ve got one, grab the butt plug and start to use it instead of your finger, playing around the entrance then into him with again more lube. The magic moment is when he’s stretched open with it and then his bum sucks it up and it settle into place.

This is why you NEVER use anything without a flanged base for this kind of play, or you’ll end up with a very embarrassing trip to the hospital!

Depending on the plug design you can fuck it in and out all the way or just smaller depths, whatever feels best really. Once the plug is in it might be a good opportunity to get him down on his knees eating your pussy and you can judge if it helps his performance!

If he’s really getting into this you might want to upgrade the plug to a dildo. You could get him to do it at this point if you wish, or try it yourself. Just be careful, you do NOT want to make him cum, and that’s very possible. So just go slow and don’t be too enthusiastic, this is just training!

If you want, finish with an edge or two and leave the plug in him longer or even overnight! 

Make sure you do the recaging, and remind him that he’s not getting out of the cage for seven days. Make him say thank you for the amazing experience you’re giving him and perhaps talk about what you’ve liked most so far, and what you think the strict caging will be like for the next week.

Some tips: you can add a condom to the butt plug if you want ease of cleaning, they work better with some than others. You MUST use a condom on the dildo if you use it for your pussy (although with silicon or glass dildos a really good clean with proper soap and water and a toy cleaner should be fine.

If you don’t use a condom on butt plug, either go to the bathroom to take it out or have a little plastic bag by the bed to pop it in to keep things clean. If you’ve washed yourself out well before it should be fine but it’s still your bum!

So, as with the warning about butt plugs in advance, you should know I’m planning to do a session where you try pegging near the ‘climax’ of Locktober, so, if you fancy exploring that (and remember even if you don’t it’s brilliant for HIM to wear when caged so you can still be fucked) then check out the amazing range at our favourite store Lovehoney

I also found a 

£5 off when you spend £30 plus FREE delivery – with code LH5302015 if you do fancy buying anything. You’re welcome!

If you’re not at all sure about pegging check out the OnTheKneesNow Tumblr for some good advice (but lots and lots and lots of images, so be warned!)