I’m so happy I found your blog. It’s great to find someone else that is realistic in chastity play. You also have some great advice. Miss and I do many of the same things, and I will be letting Her know to check You out too.

That’s most appreciated, I’m just trying to give some down to earth advice about what works for us. 

How to edge him

I’ve talked about ruining an orgasm but haven’t actually discussed the practicalities of what we do much more, which is edging. So that’s playing with him and masturbating him right to the edge of orgasm but NOT letting him cum.

Along with teasing this is the basic trick with caging him. Most days he’s wearing the cage I’ll remove it and edge him, once, if not twice. Maybe a quick one in the morning (often not even a real edge just playing with him) and then something intense in the evening (which might be one edge or lots in a row!)

We can go longer without letting him out, I’ve kept him locked up for three days without relesae, but he just getting annoyed by then and that’s no fun. 

Another good reason for this is to keep it clean. We’ll often use morning uncagings as an opportunity for him to shower for example. So I’ll take it off him, a quick play, then he’ll go and shower and take it with him to wash it. I don’t really care if he plays with his cock there as long as he doesn’t cum.

So yeah, I know, it’s all boring and practical but welcome to real life 😛

The real trick with edging is know how to get him as close as possible without him orgasming! If you play around with denial yourself you’ll know that feeling of edging – of being so close to orgasm but just holding back. There’s nothing like it… But it’s all well and good doing it to yourself, you know how close you are. This is the challenge when doing it to him.

Here are some tips:

  • Make him tell you how close he is! Kind of obvious, but let him tell you when to slow down, when to stop, keep talking to him, ask him how it feels, what is best. You’ll soon get the hang of it.
  • Feel for his body tensing – him holding his breath, arching his back or tensing are all signs he’s getting close, learn to read the signs and don’t worry if you go over, you’re learning!
  • Move from strong to soft strokes, and from the shaft to the tip – you kind of want to get him to the edge as fast as possible so you can spend more time at that point, so for me it’s lots of lubes and fast but not too tight strokes, and then as he gets closer, move to a looser grip and then focusing on the head and frenulem (the strip underneath the head at the top where they’re most sensitive).
  • Make it his HIS fault if he cums. So firstly, if he does cum, you ruin it, you stop rubbing as soon as he climaxes. OR if he’s tied down you turn it into post orgasm torture where you use his cum as lube to keep rubbing his cock and say things like, ‘You’re so naughty, I didn’t say you could cum!’

When you DO make him cum then make that part of the tease too. When you plan to make him cum it’s a great time to practice edging! Just use it as an opportunity to see just how crazy you can make him where you’re not worrying about finally taking him over.

Oh and you can add a mean element with this line, ‘If you can hold on for five minutes I won’t ruin you when you cum, okay baby?’

Mind fuck.


Walk the line, dance on the line, but don’t fall over (or there’ll be a big mess!)

How often do you allow him to cum? Is your husband caged 24/7?

God no, he’d kill me. We just use it to spice up our sex life. So we might go a week or two without using it, but then he’ll be in it between a day and a week and mostly get daily release for play. I suspect it’s how a lot of people use them really, but nobody actually seems to blog about that, it’s all ‘months in captivity’ which is hot for captions but not really very practical, and honestly a bit boring in reality.

Denying a dominant man


So the big issue we have with lots of the stuff about cock caging on tumblr and the internet is it’s really tied up with him being submissive. And yes sure there is an element of that in it, he is letting you put a cage on his cock lol but my hubby is definitely dominant, howver we have introduced this whole caging thing to spice up our sex life and wow it has really worked.

I guess I was worried about him not really being dominant when we first talked about it but I’ve come to understand that really we both like being ‘switchy’ with the power dynamic in sex kind of flowing where we want it to. The default has always been him being in charge and taking the lead, and I LOVE that, but adding the cage has given me the opportunity to take that sometimes and i like it much more than I thought I would.

So instead of chastity, which is what a lot of the blogs on here focus on and talk about, we tend to talk about orgasm denial’ The point of it for us isn’t making him submit to me (although we mess around with that) or to get him being more submissive (not a turn on), or gettign chores done around the house (although I take full advantage! lol) – the point is better more fun sex and new experiences together.

The main thing I have to do, when he’s caged, is keep him horny. If I just cage and ignore him he gets frustrated, in a bad way. It doesn’t take much, but in bed it’s cuddling, touching, and then making him do things to me. During the day it’s about little comments, touching him, either the cage through his trousers, or most of all his nipples, which give him an instant hard on

The main things that have worked with us having this include:

  • Regularly tying his arms down – we use velcro straps so no worrying about my lack of knot skills – when you take his cage off, this is forced denial, his hands are either tied or the lock is closed… so he has no choice. I just like the idea that if either of those weren’t true he’d basically just throw me
  • Making him lie on his hands – if they come out it stops
  • Sitting on him and grinding against his cage, using a vibe on myself and then touching it to him to keep him stimulated
  • Using a strap on dildo, yep, putting it ON him and making him fuck me – this is pretty hardcore but it can be amazing. It’s also bigger and longer than him and i make sure to tell him that as he fucks me. It seems to make him fuck me really, really hard… funny that.
  • Using a strap on him – pegging… more in another post I guess.

But the big one is oral sex. on me. Honestly I wasn’t that into him going down on me (okay, I was wrong) for various reasons but it’s a huge theme in all the chastity captions so we started doing it more and it turned out hubby is amazing at it when I let him do it more. He’s also a fucking tease and keeps me right on the edge until I start going nuts, hoping I’ll promise to take the cage off. Sometimes I do! Most times I don’t, and he really gets off on being ‘made’ to do that.

Speaking of which with all the denying of him with the cage we are also denying me sometimes, so both enduring it together (again I’ll say more abotu that another time) – Search Tumblr or Google for Female Orgasm Denial for ideas on that!

Just reposting this as I only had one follower when I wrote it and I think it’s quite useful.


Rubbing the palm of your hand in tiny circles on the tip of a penis produces frantic results.


Palming” or “Knob Polishing” is the act of rubbing the head of the penis in circular motions using the lubricated palm of your hand.  Experiment with slow, fast, firm, light, tiny circles, wide circles, a supple wrist or a rigid wrist.


(Circle) Size MattersFor best technique, try with circles so small that it simply moves the head around without rubbing/sliding beneath your plam, and then slightly increase the size of the circle until you are rubbing as well.

Keep Him Off BalanceConstantly change the pressure, speed, etc.  He might respond better to a slower speed or a faster speed, but never settling on a constant speed adds finesse.

The Other Hand

Most people grab the base of the cock with the other hand, but the most effective way to stabilize the cock for this kind of technique is by making a snug ring with the thumb and forefinger, just below the head right where the soft part ends and the hard-on begins, just tight enough that it’s slightly difficult to pull it off and impossible push down onto the hard cock. It should probably touch the edge of the head all the way around, and definitely be between the head and the sweet spot.  By doing this, you can cup your polishing hand into a half-sphere shape, press it onto your other hand, and flatten your polishing hand just enough to make gentle but definite contact with the head.   This technique has many benefits:

  • No accidental touching of his shaft… if he thrusts, the thumb-forefinger ring is too small to slide down.
  • Using your holding hand as a guard, once you find the perfect amount of pressure you can keep it going indefinitely. Ever polish the knob and watch him spasm every few seconds as if from electrical shock? That’s because you’re getting it right only part of the time. This allows you to find the right technique and stretch those bursts of intensity into minutes.
  • The cock does not have to be hard for this technique.
  • The head is more sensitive when it’s slightly squeezed this way, and it’s more vulnerable… it plumps out a little and the slit is opened a little more
  • You can optionally press the third and fourth fingers of your guard hand into his sweet spot, either to edge him or because you plan to make him cum this way. (I don’t have much experience with this technique, but I’m pretty sure I can’t cum without this additional stimulation, and with this stimulation, the polishing makes it impossible for me to hold back.)
  • If you make him cum in this way, the partial obstruction caused by the tight ring will make his orgasm much stronger, the feeling of splashing against your palm will be out of this world, and the feeling of you polishing him while he’s cumming will redefine “intense.”
  • If you let him cum in this way, don’t stop. Cum makes a great lubricant.


  • This is a very effective technique for post orgasm torture.

Thanks to this tip on this masturbation technique from http://wanttoneed.tumblr.com/

The actual devices

So we use what you see above on the left, the CB6000s. The small is quite important as all the advice is to go for the smallest you can cope with.

However we didn’t buy the actual original device, which is something stupidly like £100. Instead we found a nice copy on ebay for about £15. Seems good to me! I can’t tell the difference and hubby seems pleased it works well.

I don’t think it’s totally secure, he can probably pull his cock out if he REALLY tries, but for us it’s more about the psychological aspect, not about true imprisonment. And for just £15 it’s been quite revolutionary to our sex life!

The metal ones look fun but I can’t think they are really any more secure.

What do you use, any recommendations?

To shave or not to shave?

Hubby’s never shaved his pubes as he’s quite hairy anyway. But with the cage it was with trying something. In the end he trimmed his pubes pretty short and shaved the base of his cock and around his balls. It ended up a weird mix of spikey and smooth and he said the base of his cock was a bit sore for a day, but it’s neater and I think I like it!

Definitely better with the cage though.